Scoop it out

Internalized ableism 
is not something I was born with. 
Not something I was meant to carry, 
not something that was meant to be mine. 
It comes from outside, 
and I took it in long ago. 
I shaped it with my emotions, 
and my words, and my thoughts. 
I gave it an anchor, forever, 
in my body. 
But I don't want it. 
I want to give it back. 
I wish I could scoop it up 
and out of my chest, 
and toss it back to the fuckers 
who invented it in the first place. 
I really wish I could.